Another day, dollar and death story.

October 19, 2017

Before I start, see last post about Liar.. That was a shit ending! His throat was cut and lying there. Yawn. I was hoping he was on the run or something a bit more exciting than just DEAD. 

 

Which brings me nicely on to my actual post... 

 

Death seems to be following me about like a bad smell and I'm not entirely sure why. Well, I say I don't know. I did come to the conclusion it is symbolic of all the negative things I am getting rid of in my life. Ex has been gone 5 weeks now (clients probably just as happy as I am cos we were ALL bored of the on/off situation) , business structure I am changing around and a certain family member can fuck right off. 

 

There has been numerous stories of late of people dying, even 2 of my mums friends then another one in hospital. a manky dead frog which I made a client come and look out as it was on her driveway and I'm more pathetic than a 3 year old when it comes to animals plus client upon client seems to have some death story to tell me.

 

3 stories today and I've only seen 4 clients. Hope it's not me that's on my way out!

 

So I'd like to share a snippet of one conversation with you, just for fun really. I can NEVER say I was bored at work :) 

 

8.55 am this morning.

 

First client of the day, I have literally just got my arse in the door and off she goes...

 

Lady "Morning darling, come in."

 

Me - " Thank you, how are you? All OK?"

 

Lady - " Well, you know next door, I told you didn't I, she's snuffed it. That big fat one. I'm not surprised really. She was so BiIIIG. If she would have hung on a few more months you would have seen her on the telly being cut out of the house. That would have caused a bit of mayhem, people like to think this is a posh road. Do you want a drink today? "

 

Me - Trying my best to relax my eyebrows and tone down the smirk, just replied "oh no thanks love I'll be weeing all day."

 

Lady - "OK darling, let me grab mine and I'm all yours."

 

She calls everyone darling as much as I do love. 

 

So this is just a taster of this mornings conversation. Not much shocks me but one thing that never fails is lovely little ladies, over the age of 70 who bitch and gossip like the rest of us. I rarely hear her say anything like that so so I can't help but laugh. They just DO NOT give a shit. Which I bloody love. 

 

While driving to my next lady all I could think of was that she reminds me of the Catherine Tate character, Nan. Except my lady has much better hair. Obviosuly :) 

 

Here is a link in case you're interested. 

 

 

 

Anyway I'll leave you with that little nugget. Enjoy! 

 

P.S I told my lady I was going to write about this, she was more than happy to entertain you as long as I promised not to tell anyone who she is, who the fat neighbour was or where she lives. Client confidentiality is key!

 

Stephanie xxx 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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