Hi, my name is Stephanie and I'm an alcoholic.

November 24, 2017


God I am just too funny sometimes. I’m not a drunk, I just want you to read this and I hoped a bit of light humour would draw you in before I start moaning hahaha 😊

As per most topics, expect sarcasm and swearing in between my little rant.


I know what you're thinking.. what a weird topic right?

Yeah. Isn’t it just. But correcting people all day is getting boring now.


My name is Stephanie, and it has been for 29 years and 5 months.


My mobile hairdressing business is called Stephanique Styling, which is obviously not on my birth certificate.


Over the past 5 years I have introduced myself as Stephanie, as one would expect. you know, seeing as it's my name and all. 


I think it sounds much nicer than Steph and I’ve often preferred peoples full name to half a name, but that’s personal preference.


So let me clear this up right now, I fucking HATE people calling me Steph. Sometimes it actually makes me cringe, I literally cant stand it. I don't know why but it does. Also it doesn't even matter why, just don't do it. How's that for an idea?


The only time I don’t seem to mind it, is if someone has known me over 10 years, and then it’s bearable. But even friends are managing the switch and they’ve known me longer.


Or.. if a new client has messaged me and has no idea cos they haven’t read much on my website or has come from Facebook, so they are allowed, just the once.

I'd rather you didn't say any name at all if you're going to say it wrong. 

One woman even said "can I call you S?" Well that’s pretty weird, but whatever. 

I'm sorry that all 3 syllables of my name is creating such a huge delay in your ever so important day.

Jesus Christ, it's not as if I've all of a sudden started telling you all to call me Roger is it?

I really don't think it's a big ask if I'm honest! 



With the business name, I mean do I look like a Stephanique? I don't even know if that is a real name... 

* Googles it...*

How unique is the name Stephanique? Turns out, it's VERY unique, so much so it's almost not even a name! 

Out of 5,838,786 records in the U.S. Social Security Administration public data, the first name Stephanique was not present.

It is possible the name you are searching has less than five occurrences per year.

So thank you Google, we have discovered it's not actually a name. Nice one. 


And by the way, may I just add, that I am absolutely not the only person out there who doesn’t like their name being shortened. So in future, if someone tells you their name, try actually using it without just using the first half.


I was worried (for about 10 mins!) I was being a bit petty, so I posted in a group on FB and here are some of the replies that the post got:


“The first person who calls me ‘Ab’ gets whacked in the side of the head. That usually keeps it to a minimum.”


“*high five* I find it so weird when people shorten my name. If you introduce yourself as Stephanie – THAT IS WHAT THEY SHOULD CALL YOU. End of!”


“I usually ask people who have a name that can be shortened what they prefer to be called. I think it’s totally acceptable to want to be called by your full name.”


“I feel the same. I only let my family and very close friends call me Cris.”


“Your name is such a personal thing. It’s just common courtesy. Isn’t it?!”


So there, now I have validation from a load of strangers online I no longer feel bad for requesting you to call my by my full name. And if you still cant manage it, then don’t be surprised if the gap you hear from me becomes longer and longer. Haha.


Thanks. Bye.





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